Since their capture, the big question for Scotland Yard has been, “What exactly is it that links these six individuals? What common denominator motivated this seemingly random group of young men?”
Back in 2007, a political satire show on Fox called ‘The Half Hour News Hour‘ ran a skit called ‘What Do They Have In Common”. The topic was Islamic terrorism, and it was over-the-top silly and presented as a parody. But we promise you that if you watch this ultra-funny three and a half minute clip with the words from Obama’s anti-terrorism speech from last night still ringing in your ears, a cold chill will travel down your spine. What was inconceivable just seven short years ago is the official policy of the Obama administration.
FEMALE ANCHOR: Six men have just been charged with conspiracy to murder in connection with a plot to blow up buses and subway cars in London during the summer of 2005.
MALE ANCHOR: The six would-be suicide bombers charged are Muktar Said Abraham, Ramzi Muhammed, Yasin Omar, Manfu Asiedu, Adel Yahya, and Hussain Osman.
FEMALE ANCHOR: Since their capture, the big question for Scotland Yard has been, “What exactly is it that links these six individuals? (laughter) What common denominator motivated this seemingly random group of young men?”
MALE ANCHOR: It is puzzling, isn’t it?
FEMALE ANCHOR: Yeah.
MALE ANCHOR: But here to help us untangle this mystery please welcome international terrorism expert Dr. Franklin Robertson. Thank you, doctor.
ROBERTSON: Thank you. Good to be here.
MALE ANCHOR: I gotta tell you, you know what this case reminds me of, Doc? A more successful bombing attack in London during July of 2005.
FEMALE ANCHOR: You mean the suicide bombings carried out by Mohammad Sidique Khan, Shehzad Tanweer, Abdullah Shaheed Jamal, Hasib Hussain, Kurt?
MALE ANCHOR: I believe that was them, yes. Um, weren’t the two cases kind of similar?
ROBERTSON: Similar? Uhhh, in what way?
MALE ANCHOR: I don’t know. Uhhh, maybe both involved buses, subways, uh, suicide bombers?
ROBERTSON: You know, Kurt, it’s tempting to try to concoct these (pause) conspiracy theories to explain these incidents, but most of those just don’t hold water.
MALE ANCHOR: But, I mean, it could be a conspiracy, couldn’t it? I mean, like last August when 10 people were arrested in London for trying to blow up those US-bound airplanes.
ROBERTSON: Ah, yes, yes. You mean Ahmed Abdulla Ali, Tanvir Hussain, Umar Islam, Arafat Waheed Khan, Assad Ali Sarwar, Adam Khatib, Ibrahim Savant, Waheed Zaman, Cossor Ali and … Mehran Hussain?
MALE ANCHOR: It does Sound like that, yeah. But, Doc, you can’t tell me those guys didn’t have anything in common — I mean, besides a desire to blow things up?
ROBERTSON: Well, if you say so Kurt. And what might that be?
MALE ANCHOR: Okay, well, let’s see. Were they all young males?
ROBERTSON: No. One was a woman.
MALE ANCHOR: All right. That’s a dead end. Okay. Okay. How about this, were they all from the same hometown?
ROBERTSON: No, they were all from different London suburbs. Not so easy, is it Curt?
FEMALE ANCHOR: Did any of them have eating disorders? Those can make you crazy.
ROBERTSON: Okay. Funny you should ask that, because we just learned that none of them would eat pork. Still don’t know what that means yet.
MALE ANCHOR: Okay. Well, how about this. Were they all going by their original names?
ROBERTSON: No, Kurt. Ammar Islam was born Brian Young, but he changed his name after he converted.
MALE ANCHOR: Converted to what?
FEMALE ANCHOR: Oh, jeez, another dead end.
MALE ANCHOR: Everybody knows Islam is a religion of peace.
ROBERTSON: Look, we’ve spent thousands of hours studying this, and, frankly, we’re stumped.
MALE ANCHOR: Well, you know, you’re the expert, and I guess if there were something that linked Muktar Said Abraham, Ramzi Muhammed, Yasin Omar, Manfu Asiedu, Adel Yahya, and Hussain Osman.
FEMALE ANCHOR: Or for that matter Mohammad Sidique Khan, Shehzad Tanweer, Abdullah Shaheed Jamal, Hasib Hussain,
MALE ANCHOR: Yeah, if they had anything linking them, you would have discovered it by now.
ROBERTSON: That’s right, Kurt. No, we would have. So in the meantime, why don’t you just let the detective work be done by the detectives.
MALE ANCHOR: You got it. Thanks for joining us.